Having been told I need to blog, I’ve been sat here thinking “what can I blog about?” and I’ve come up blank! Our lives have turned a serious shade of beige at the moment!! Don’t get me wrong, from my point of view I’ve never been happier and more content, but work seems to be all encompassing at the moment – particularly for Paul!!
Until I’ve got something better to blog about, here’s a picture of what happens when bread turns evil…
😉
Every time I see this monkey, I can’t help but laugh…
Especially when it appears around a doorframe and just looks at me… 😐
It’s been a while since I posted a picture of my nails…
Paul thinks they look like little octopus legs… 😐
So, Paul went out for a ‘couple’ of beers the other night. “I definitely won’t be late and I’m only having a couple because of that appointment tomorrow”…he said. “In fact, I’ll probably be home by eight”…he said. Well, I already knew it would be a bit later than that, but even so I asked if he wanted me to wait up for him so he didn’t need to take a house key with him. “Yes please”…he said. “I won’t be late – love you” and with that he was off… 🙂
Well, it got to about 9pm and still no sight or sound of him. We exchanged a few texts – not nagging ones coz it’s not often he goes out without me, so it was a bit of a ‘boys night out’ for him. Gradually, as it got later I started to think that maybe I’d made a mistake in not getting him to take his key coz I was knackered and starting to flag a little bit. Around 10:30pm I got a text to say that he’d got three bottles of Becks to drink and he’d be home after that! (The pub started off with about 22 so he was doing well!) 😐
Around 11:30pm I rang him – again, not to nag, but just to find out how much longer because I was really starting to struggle staying awake. Well, my boy was a little bit tipsy!!
Around midnight I got a call to say he was on his way home. In fact, he ‘chatted’ at me for the full walk home doing lots of giggling and repeating himself!! I think he was kinda expecting me to be pissed at him, but, as I said, he doesn’t do it often and he was so cute when he got back.
I think it’s fairly safe to say that he loves me, coz he must have told me at least 50 times (and that was BEFORE we got to bed!) He tried to explain just how much he loved me and it went something like this…
“I love you so much that if a lion turned up, bringing all his attitude and thinking he was ‘all that’, I would say Oi, Lion – fuck off, she’s mine and you’re not touching her! If that bloody lion got rowdy – coz they’re like that – I would go up to it and bite its fucking nose and tell it to piss off!! That’s how much I love you – I’d stand between you and a lion to protect you!”
Well, it almost brought a tear to my eye … I’m not entirely sure if that was because I was so moved by his words or I was struggling not to piss myself with laughter at his incredibly earnest expression!
Well, I told him how much I loved him too and said it’d be a good idea to get some sleep as it was heading towards 2am at this point! So tell me…how the fuck was I supposed to deal with him then telling me that “..rabbits should have thumbs and they aren’t as good as monkey butlers, because monkey butlers are cool…”! I lost it a little bit and said “babe, I love you dearly but please – shut the fuck up!!!” He actually giggled and said “OK, but I’ll go to sleep a lot quicker if you give my back and shoulders a rub – oh, and my head!”. He finally fell asleep around 2:30am!!
…and that, Your Honor, is why I fell asleep on the sofa in the middle of the afternoon today!!! 😐
Just a little warning to all of you that go to snee for advice and ‘technical’ assistance…
This is the result of snee trying to take a picture of me:-
Bless…he’s only had the phone for a year and he STILL doesn’t know which way to hold it and which buttons to press!! 😐
Paul was laying on the floor, pretending to do the ‘dying fly’ coz he’d just farted.
I walk next to him and he pulled my trousers down! So, instead of the usual mad rush to pull them back up again, I decided to get my own back …
I promptly turned around and started to squat over him saying “I really need to fart…”
The look of sheer panic on his face made me laugh SOOOOOOOO much I could barely breathe!
It resembled this…
hehehehe
So, we’ve cut right back on the beers lately. Instead of a few bottles with dinner & during the evening, we’ve been having tea or soft drinks. It’s been great – saving money AND less trips to the bottle bank! The other and, in my opinion, most important benefit has been that Paul hasn’t been farting anywhere NEAR as much as he used to! On the odd occasion when he does, they haven’t had the usual disgusting aroma!
Well, that was until he went out on Thursday for ‘curry night’! I don’t know what they put in it, but when he got home the combination of beer and curry had mutated inside his guts and the resulting emissions could have been used in chemical warfare! It was as if a fog of death had descended on the house. Even the girls, when they came in for their morning cuddle, declared “urgh, it stinks in here!”. Being the top bloke that he is, Paul instantly replied “I know…your mum keeps farting!” 😐
We’ve just had a couple of days off, so on Friday we went to the garden centre to have breakfast. Toast, eggs, bacon, sausage, beans, mushrooms and hashbrowns for Paul (he wasn’t that hungry) and scrambled egg on toast for me.
Now, I’m sure a lot of people out there know Paul better than me, but I’m fairly confident when I say that he’s NOT an avid gardener and really doesn’t have any interest in plants. In fact, if you ask him what a particular plant is the answer is likely to be “a green one that has flowers on it”. So I was a little surprised when he started moaning about the winter pansies…
“They’re really disappointing aren’t they? Not really a rainbow of colours! It’s like they’re saying ‘yeah, we’re here, we’re flowering, move along…meh!'”
There’s no pleasing some people! 🙄
Oh yeah, the nicknames…
Can’t decide which is the most appropriate for him at the moment.
Option 1 – SKUNK – When we get into a fight (play fight I might add), or if I move suddenly and he’s not expecting it, he farts! This leads me to think that he may be part skunk and uses it as a defence mechanism.
Option 2 – THRUSH – Let’s just say that he’s been an extremely irritating twat lately…
Decisions, decisions…
My most favourite flowers AND dinner when I got home…
Yeah, he really is lovely!!
Every now and then I get brave and I ask Paul what he’s thinking about. As readers of his blog will know, the answers can range from “I was just thinking about painting monkeys – not in a watercolour, but using a roller..do you think purple or yellow monkeys would look best?” to “I think it’d be cool to have an army of blue ducks…” Now that’s bad enough, but it’s even more disturbing when he comes out with weird shit while he’s asleep!!
The other night (it was curry night so he was a little on the drunk side) he settled down to sleep and all was well. Middle of the night I get woken up to the sounds of him singing!! Well, I use the term “singing” in its broadest sense! The words were “flibbady dibbady dooooo, flibbady dibbady doooooooooooo, flibbady dibbady dooooooooooooooooooooooo…” When I asked “babe, what are you doing?” the response was just a rather worrying “heh heh” and he settled back down to sleep again… 😯
Got my nails done again on Friday. Last time I got them done I had flowers on my thumbs and ring fingers. Paul said they were very nice but thought it would be much better if I had the Spurs logo on them. Well, I try to keep him happy so…
Oh! He had a hair growing out of his shoulder just at the base of his neck the other day. I couldn’t resist, so I pulled it out! It was nearly 3 inches long!!!! How come I never noticed it when it was still only an inch or so? Did it grow that long overnight?????? I’ll be keeping an eye on that now…
EDIT: As Arie really doesn’t like body hair, I thought I’d go with the cute monkey instead!! It’s kinda cute like Paul too!! 🙂
Blue Duck 