Dull, weird and slightly disturbing thoughts…

Posts tagged ‘nicknames’

Farts, nicknames and pansies…

So, we’ve cut right back on the beers lately.  Instead of a few bottles with dinner & during the evening, we’ve been having tea or soft drinks.  It’s been great – saving money AND less trips to the bottle bank!  The other and, in my opinion, most important benefit has been that Paul hasn’t been farting anywhere NEAR as much as he used to!  On the odd occasion when he does, they haven’t had the usual disgusting aroma!

Well, that was until he went out on Thursday for ‘curry night’!  I don’t know what they put in it, but when he got home the combination of beer and curry had mutated inside his guts and the resulting emissions could have been used in chemical warfare!  It was as if a fog of death had descended on the house.  Even the girls, when they came in for their morning cuddle, declared “urgh, it stinks in here!”. Being the top bloke that he is, Paul instantly replied “I know…your mum keeps farting!” 😐

We’ve just had a couple of days off, so on Friday we went to the garden centre to have breakfast.  Toast, eggs, bacon, sausage, beans, mushrooms and hashbrowns for Paul (he wasn’t that hungry) and scrambled egg on toast for me.

Now, I’m sure a lot of people out there know Paul better than me, but I’m fairly confident when I say that he’s NOT an avid gardener and really doesn’t have any interest in plants.  In fact, if you ask him what a particular plant is the answer is likely to be “a green one that has flowers on it”.  So I was a little surprised when he started moaning about the winter pansies…

“They’re really disappointing aren’t they? Not really a rainbow of colours!  It’s like they’re saying ‘yeah, we’re here, we’re flowering, move along…meh!'”

There’s no pleasing some people! 🙄

Meh!

 

 

 

 

 

Oh yeah, the nicknames…

Can’t decide which is the most appropriate for him at the moment.

Option 1SKUNK – When we get into a fight (play fight I might add), or if I move suddenly and he’s not expecting it, he farts!  This leads me to think that he may be part skunk and uses it as a defence mechanism.

Option 2 – THRUSH – Let’s just say that he’s been an extremely irritating twat lately…

Decisions, decisions…

sneesnee le stink

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