Dull, weird and slightly disturbing thoughts…

Posts tagged ‘kids’

Halloween, Birthdays and Big Kids…

It’s Carys’ birthday on Wednesday (a very grown up 11 yrs old), so we combined her birthday party with Halloween.  Carys was a devil, I was a vampire, Kira was an executioner and Paul was a zombie (Dan is nearly 15 so didn’t want to dress up!).

The kids asked if they could go out ‘trick or treating’ down our road and just as they arrived back, some other trick or treaters arrived.  It was a young family with two small children. I herded all of our lot back into the house (6 of them went out), but I managed to get 7 back in!!!  One of the kids from this young family decided to join us!  I don’t know who was more worried – them because they were losing a child or me because I was gaining one!!!  We sorted out which child belonged where and they left with sweets aplenty!

I think everyone enjoyed themselves…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah – He’s enjoying that wig just a bit too much…

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Lazy-ass Men!!

I had a day off on Monday with the kids.  Had a great time – even the eldest was in good spirits, although I think that was more to do with him taking the piss out of me at every opportunity!  Still – if it means an easy life then I’ll go with it!

Got back to work on the Tuesday to find no end of dirty mugs left by the kettle (which is on a cabinet right next to my desk).  We have a little plastic bin on the cabinet for all the used teabags.  There was mould growing on mould in this little bin.  Biohazard clothing wouldn’t have been over the top when opening it!  So…I get the sponge, washing up liquid, all the mugs, spoons and the bin and do the washing up.

The next time Mr L goes to make a cuppa he remarks to Mr B ….”have you noticed how the washing-up fairy has come back now that Lisa is in?”

Sometimes the urge to bury my letter-opener in his ear is almost too much to bear…

Boobs, Bums & Feet!

We had a day out in Cambridge last Saturday (mainly coz I had to have a proper bra fitting and John Lewis seemed like the best place to go!) To give Paul credit where it’s due – he didn’t once hold up his hands in a cupping motion and tell the assistant that I needed a bra ‘that’ size!! Instead, his expression managed to display the appropriate level of disinterest as he sat down in the middle of all the knickers and bras whilst I got sorted out! (I don’t ‘do’ shopping so it was a case of “please measure me then bring three bras of the correct size – I don’t care what colour!”). To get over the stress of that bit of shopping, we went to one of the arcades and had a ‘fish pedicure’! Can’t recommend it highly enough – it was bloody lovely!! In fact I think we’re going to make a return visit in the next couple of weeks!

I left my phone in the pub last Sunday night and, come Monday morning, I felt lost without it! The thought of losing my text messages and photos made me feel sick! (Although, I think the huge quantities of alcohol may have also been a contributory factor – indeed, that probably played a significant role in me actually leaving the phone in the first place!). Thanks to the angels that are Phil & Becky at The Kings Head, my phone was returned safe & sound.

Now, although I was extremely drunk, I AM a drunk with memory, so it was with great amusement that I showed Paul the photos I remember taking of him & Bob in the pub that Sunday night. Neither of them have any recollection of these pictures which is slightly worrying as there is the obligatory ‘trousers down and arse out’ photo of Paul! I think we’ll have to curb the alcohol a bit on Sunday’s in future!!

Well, that’s the plan at the moment… 😉

Give me strength…

He’s even got the youngest at it now…

It’s no wonder she loves him so much!

Weekend, sunburn and love-puffs…

What a fab weekend!  Even the grumpy teenager managed to break into a smile a few times! (Admittedly, it was when either he or Paul were taking the piss out of me – but I’m ok with that…for now!)

Spent Sunday at Wicksteed Park and had a great family day out.  The log flume was the favourite…up until the boys (aka Paul & Dan) decided that it wasn’t enough to just float around as we should, but to wildly rock the boat left & right instead! Once we’d screamed at them enough to stop, the next ‘good idea’ they had was to flick water at us from behind. (We were sitting in height order so the boys were at the back).  I think Paul may have instigated that one, but Dan managed to take it one step too far by scooping a bloody great handful of water and then chuck it over me! Had a slight sense of humour failure at that point, but we soon got over it.  I got a little bit sunburnt – well, burnt enough that if I stand next to the side of the road traffic will mistake my shoulders for the ‘stop light’!

It’s officially the start of the school summer holiday today and I’m working from home for the next couple of weeks, so I really should get on with some of it but I’ll leave you with this little ‘heart-warming’ story…

I get up this morning to make Paul a cup of tea and do some beef sandwiches in lieu of the bacon rolls he’ll be missing as I’m not in the office.  I deliver the tea to the bedside and get back in for a quick cuddle.  Paul sits up, gets his tea and then casually lifts his arse cheek, aims at me and farts!!! 😦  Now don’t get me wrong – I’m not after eternal praise and gratitude, but I was kinda hoping for a ‘thanks babe’ or a hug.  Instead, I was subjected to the bubbling sewer that is his arse!  When I pointed out that maybe a ‘thanks’ would have sufficed his response was “…but I was giving you a love-puff!” 😯

Some days I do struggle to remind myself just HOW lucky I am… 😐