Dull, weird and slightly disturbing thoughts…

Posts tagged ‘Fat Club’

Rain, Farts & Baby Guinness…

Apparently I didn’t get the high-tech blog that updates itself and I’m supposed to do it manually! Who knew?! (Thanks for the gentle reminder, Arie – I feel like I have a guiding angel on my shoulder – or an evil taskmaster with a whip – now there’s an image!!)  Paul reckoned that he wasn’t updating his because of his ‘Error 500 – Internal Server Error’ issue (whatever the hell that is) but now it’s sorted he’s STILL hardly updated it!!  How come the beginner is getting picked on??!!

Anyway…Paul (aka snee, aka Bagpuss) and I were going to get all ‘cultural’ and head to London for the day on Saturday to wander around The National Gallery (apparently Monet is a bit of a fav of his!)  We got about 500yrds from my house and we were soaked!  There was only one thing for it…go home, get changed and head off to the garden centre for a cooked breakfast – which I thought was lovely, but the sausage made him burp (like he needs an excuse!) and I then had the next several hours listening to “buuurrrpp – that sausage keeps repeating on me, that sausage keeps repeating on me”!   It’s even less funny out loud than it is in writing! 😐

The burping I can cope with, but the farting is a different matter.  Now, anyone who has read snee’s blog knows (in his lucky list) that I do find farting funny.  I can’t help it – I know that, as a mum, I should frown and teach my kids the proper etiquette in polite society – but unless it’s REALLY gross and inappropriate, I laugh!  Gross doesn’t even come CLOSE to describing some of the cat-farts that he’s capable of!  Our relationship is still in the early stages (despite a gap of 2.5 years between dates 2 and 3!).  He should still be making a bit of an effort to impress shouldn’t he??  Let me ask this a different way … should he do the rankest cat-fart possible in the bedroom, dash outside and then hold the door shut so I can’t get out as well?!  I was stuck in a room, unable to reach a window because that meant going through the wall of fart and I couldn’t get out the door because he’s holding it shut and laughing his nuts off on the other side.  Yeah, the shine has worn of pretty damn quick…!!*

Baby Guinness:  For anyone that hasn’t tried it, it’s a shot glass containing Tia Maria topped with Baileys.  We had a ‘couple’ over the weekend and if, like me, you haven’t eaten anything it tends to bypass every part of your body and head straight for the speech and balance areas of the brain! (It must have been them, because I’m sure it had nothing to do with the amount of vodka I’d had!)

Right – better actually do some work now.  Oh yeah, I still need to decide whether to go to FatClub tonight…I’ve not been a ‘good girl’.  😦

(*for the record – I did still end up laughing about it afterwards.  I am as freaky and weird as he says I am. 😦  )

EDIT: Went to FatClub – I’ve lost 2.5 lbs! woop woop!  I now ‘officially’ weigh less than Paul! 🙂


So this is it then…

Well, apparently I’m not allowed to just stand on the sidelines and throw sarcastic comments into other people’s blogs now – I’ve been nagged encouraged to do my own!

It’s harder than I thought!  I’m on my second Smirnoff Black (with just a dash of diet coke so you know when the glass is empty) and I’m coming up blank!  Don’t want to talk about work because I’m not back there until Monday (I LOVE not working on a Friday) and I’m trying to blank it out of my mind at the moment.

How about life in general?  Well, it’s pretty damn good right now.  Mainly thanks to three fantastic kids (those would be mine – although I’d lay money on me saying “those bloody kids…” within a few days) and the rather gorgeous Bagpuss (aka ‘snee’).  I’ve had a rather ‘unsettled’ few years but, thanks to the aforementioned, I am definitely heading into a very happy and content phase.  So much so, that I’ve had to start going to Fat Club again to prevent ‘content’ from turning into ‘lard-arse’! (On a related note here – is it wrong for snee – kind, generous and sensitive soul that he is  – to think  it would be amusing to bring a bag of Maltesers into Fat Club and throw them on the floor, just to see if it would be like a real-life version of ‘Hungry Hippos’??!) *note to self – must remember to ask him how I get emoticons on here!*

Right – I’m going to see if I can actually publish this now (not entirely sure how to do that, but I’ll give it a go!)

Must get another vodka first though…