Dull, weird and slightly disturbing thoughts…

Posts tagged ‘drunk’

Rabbits, Lions and a very drunk snee…

So, Paul went out for a ‘couple’ of beers the other night.  “I definitely won’t be late and I’m only having a couple because of that appointment tomorrow”…he said.  “In fact, I’ll probably be home by eight”…he said.  Well, I already knew it would be a bit later than that, but even so I asked if he wanted me to wait up for him so he didn’t need to take a house key with him.  “Yes please”…he said.  “I won’t be late – love you” and with that he was off… 🙂

Well, it got to about 9pm and still no sight or sound of him.  We exchanged a few texts – not nagging ones coz it’s not often he goes out without me, so it was a bit of a ‘boys night out’ for him.  Gradually, as it got later I started to think that maybe I’d made a mistake in not getting him to take his key coz I was knackered and starting to flag a little bit.  Around 10:30pm I got a text to say that he’d got three bottles of Becks to drink and he’d be home after that! (The pub started off with about 22 so he was doing well!) 😐

Around 11:30pm I rang him – again, not to nag, but just to find out how much longer because I was really starting to struggle staying awake.  Well, my boy was a little bit tipsy!!

Around midnight I got a call to say he was on his way home.  In fact, he ‘chatted’ at me for the full walk home doing lots of giggling and repeating himself!!  I think he was kinda expecting me to be pissed at him, but, as I said, he doesn’t do it often and he was so cute when he got back.

I think it’s fairly safe to say that he loves me, coz he must have told me at least 50 times (and that was BEFORE we got to bed!)  He tried to explain just how much he loved me and it went something like this…

“I love you so much that if a lion turned up, bringing all his attitude and thinking he was ‘all that’, I would say Oi, Lion – fuck off, she’s mine and you’re not touching her!  If that bloody lion got rowdy – coz they’re like that – I would go up to it and bite its fucking nose and tell it to piss off!!  That’s how much I love you – I’d stand between you and a lion to protect you!”

Well, it almost brought a tear to my eye … I’m not entirely sure if that was because I was so moved by his words or I was struggling not to piss myself with laughter at his incredibly earnest expression!

Well, I told him how much I loved him too and said it’d be a good idea to get some sleep as it was heading towards 2am at this point!  So tell me…how the fuck was I supposed to deal with him then telling me that “..rabbits should have thumbs and they aren’t as good as monkey butlers, because monkey butlers are cool…”!  I lost it a little bit and said “babe, I love you dearly but please – shut the fuck up!!!”  He actually giggled and said “OK, but I’ll go to sleep a lot quicker if you give my back and shoulders a rub – oh, and my head!”.  He finally fell asleep around 2:30am!!

…and that, Your Honor, is why I fell asleep on the sofa in the middle of the afternoon today!!! 😐

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