Dull, weird and slightly disturbing thoughts…

Just goes to show how wrong these tests can be…

http://iq-test.net.nz/take_a_test.html

I took it and got 139 which means:

130-145 – high intelligence. People with a high intelligence level have no difficulties in becoming a student of a good university and often continue their scientific career there. Moreover, they are usually respected experts in medicine, informatics, physics or astronomy. They frequently choose to be artists as well. Having an intelligence quotient of over 130 points gives the opportunity to become a member of Mensa.”

Yeah right – I’m the numpty that glanced at a dark window on a train, saw her own reflection and mistook it for her sister!!! (I also did that whilst walking past a mirror!)

How does seeing an order to the ‘pretty patterns’ show how intelligent someone is??

Oh well, back to work now I suppose… 😐

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So, Paul went out for a ‘couple’ of beers the other night.  “I definitely won’t be late and I’m only having a couple because of that appointment tomorrow”…he said.  “In fact, I’ll probably be home by eight”…he said.  Well, I already knew it would be a bit later than that, but even so I asked if he wanted me to wait up for him so he didn’t need to take a house key with him.  “Yes please”…he said.  “I won’t be late – love you” and with that he was off… 🙂

Well, it got to about 9pm and still no sight or sound of him.  We exchanged a few texts – not nagging ones coz it’s not often he goes out without me, so it was a bit of a ‘boys night out’ for him.  Gradually, as it got later I started to think that maybe I’d made a mistake in not getting him to take his key coz I was knackered and starting to flag a little bit.  Around 10:30pm I got a text to say that he’d got three bottles of Becks to drink and he’d be home after that! (The pub started off with about 22 so he was doing well!) 😐

Around 11:30pm I rang him – again, not to nag, but just to find out how much longer because I was really starting to struggle staying awake.  Well, my boy was a little bit tipsy!!

Around midnight I got a call to say he was on his way home.  In fact, he ‘chatted’ at me for the full walk home doing lots of giggling and repeating himself!!  I think he was kinda expecting me to be pissed at him, but, as I said, he doesn’t do it often and he was so cute when he got back.

I think it’s fairly safe to say that he loves me, coz he must have told me at least 50 times (and that was BEFORE we got to bed!)  He tried to explain just how much he loved me and it went something like this…

“I love you so much that if a lion turned up, bringing all his attitude and thinking he was ‘all that’, I would say Oi, Lion – fuck off, she’s mine and you’re not touching her!  If that bloody lion got rowdy – coz they’re like that – I would go up to it and bite its fucking nose and tell it to piss off!!  That’s how much I love you – I’d stand between you and a lion to protect you!”

Well, it almost brought a tear to my eye … I’m not entirely sure if that was because I was so moved by his words or I was struggling not to piss myself with laughter at his incredibly earnest expression!

Well, I told him how much I loved him too and said it’d be a good idea to get some sleep as it was heading towards 2am at this point!  So tell me…how the fuck was I supposed to deal with him then telling me that “..rabbits should have thumbs and they aren’t as good as monkey butlers, because monkey butlers are cool…”!  I lost it a little bit and said “babe, I love you dearly but please – shut the fuck up!!!”  He actually giggled and said “OK, but I’ll go to sleep a lot quicker if you give my back and shoulders a rub – oh, and my head!”.  He finally fell asleep around 2:30am!!

…and that, Your Honor, is why I fell asleep on the sofa in the middle of the afternoon today!!! 😐

Weird dreams…

I had some weird dreams last night and woke up sooo tired this morning.  Most of them have kinda faded in my memory except this one…

My hairdresser, Paula, was cutting great big chunks out of my hair because I’d got soooo many split ends.  I was really upset and headed off to a local hair salon where the one and only William Shatner (yes, Captain Kirk! ) forced me into a chair and started cutting off even more hair!

Unfortunately it wasn’t this Shatner:

It was THIS Shatner:

:

…and he was SO camp!  Dressed in this very garish pink, frilly shirt and strutting around with his hand on his hip!

I shouldn’t be surprised about my weird brain after listening to a story my sister told the other evening when we were out for a curry…

Jane (my sis) has just had a new kitchen fitted.  It’s lovely and she’s really pleased with it.  She gets really anal about cleaning sometimes and was on a mission to make sure every speak of dust etc was removed.  When she finally got around to the sink, she was livid to discover that there were two dark stains in the bottom of the bowl.  She scrubbed & scrubbed but couldn’t remove them!  She was in the process of having a go about it to her husband when he calmly moved the washing up liquid and soap off the windowsill and the two shadows in the bottom of the sink disappeared…

I don’t stand a chance really…     😦

The great god, snee!!

Just a little warning to all of you that go to snee for advice and ‘technical’ assistance…

This is the result of snee trying to take a picture of me:-

 

 

 

 

Bless…he’s only had the phone for a year and he STILL doesn’t know which way to hold it and which buttons to press!! 😐

The look of horror…

Paul was laying on the floor, pretending to do the ‘dying fly’ coz he’d just farted.

I walk next to him and he pulled my trousers down!  So, instead of the usual mad rush to pull them back up again, I decided to get my own back …

I promptly turned around and started to squat over him saying “I really need to fart…”

The look of sheer panic on his face made me laugh SOOOOOOOO much I could barely breathe!

It resembled this…

 

 

 

hehehehe

So, we’ve cut right back on the beers lately.  Instead of a few bottles with dinner & during the evening, we’ve been having tea or soft drinks.  It’s been great – saving money AND less trips to the bottle bank!  The other and, in my opinion, most important benefit has been that Paul hasn’t been farting anywhere NEAR as much as he used to!  On the odd occasion when he does, they haven’t had the usual disgusting aroma!

Well, that was until he went out on Thursday for ‘curry night’!  I don’t know what they put in it, but when he got home the combination of beer and curry had mutated inside his guts and the resulting emissions could have been used in chemical warfare!  It was as if a fog of death had descended on the house.  Even the girls, when they came in for their morning cuddle, declared “urgh, it stinks in here!”. Being the top bloke that he is, Paul instantly replied “I know…your mum keeps farting!” 😐

We’ve just had a couple of days off, so on Friday we went to the garden centre to have breakfast.  Toast, eggs, bacon, sausage, beans, mushrooms and hashbrowns for Paul (he wasn’t that hungry) and scrambled egg on toast for me.

Now, I’m sure a lot of people out there know Paul better than me, but I’m fairly confident when I say that he’s NOT an avid gardener and really doesn’t have any interest in plants.  In fact, if you ask him what a particular plant is the answer is likely to be “a green one that has flowers on it”.  So I was a little surprised when he started moaning about the winter pansies…

“They’re really disappointing aren’t they? Not really a rainbow of colours!  It’s like they’re saying ‘yeah, we’re here, we’re flowering, move along…meh!'”

There’s no pleasing some people! 🙄

Meh!

 

 

 

 

 

Oh yeah, the nicknames…

Can’t decide which is the most appropriate for him at the moment.

Option 1SKUNK – When we get into a fight (play fight I might add), or if I move suddenly and he’s not expecting it, he farts!  This leads me to think that he may be part skunk and uses it as a defence mechanism.

Option 2 – THRUSH – Let’s just say that he’s been an extremely irritating twat lately…

Decisions, decisions…

sneesnee le stink

Oh hai…

I got posting privileges (actually – ADMIN privileges) on Lisa’s blog 🙂

So, I’ll just leave this link here for Arie: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toffee